Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Overwhelmed With Emotion

I can't sleep. It's almost 2:00 am, and my mind is racing. I'm excited about the transfer on Monday, but nervous, too. I hope it works. I hope one of the embryos sticks & everything goes smoothly. I just hope most of all that the transfer either works, or it doesn't. It would be heartbreaking to get that positive pregnancy test, and then miscarry. Even worse to see a heartbeat & then miscarry.

When I think about the actual transfer, I get overwhelmed with emotion. I feel so special that K&J have chosen me to carry their child, and that they're trusting me with this huge, amazing task. I feel honored. I feel important. When I get up every morning, I won't just be doing the same old stuff, I'll be helping to grow a family. I feel like surrogacy is something that I was meant to do, and I'm so thrilled that it's finally happening.

I hope that makes sense. It's hard to put into words what I'm feeling, but that's the best I could do. Let's also not forget that I have an insanely high amount of estrogen running through my body right now, and there is excess emotion behind everything, lol. I should get some sleep before I make myself crazy (crazier).

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