Looking Good!

K's blood result came back from her test last week, and whatever they tested looked very good. She goes in on the 23rd to have her ovaries looked at via ultrasound, I'm not exactly sure what they're looking for though. I'm sorry I don't know the technicalities, the whole egg production thing really isn't my area :) The IVF coordinator e-mailed me on Monday to find out what day of my birth control pills I was on, and said that we were going to get the ball rolling!

Other than that, I am in the dark. If I were to guess, I'd say that they're going to start K on meds after the 23rd so she'll produce a bunch of eggs, and that I'll be starting lupron and estradiol around the same time. But, I really don't know! K's been through this before, since she did IVF to conceive Little K, but there was no surrogate involved so this really is a whole new ballgame. I'm going to e-mail the IVF coordinator tomorrow to see if I can get a little more information form her and a rough timeline. If not, K will let me know whats up on the 23rd!

I know this was a crappy update, but hey, at least I updated!

Crossing our fingers for March

So earlier this week, we had a mini-crisis. Ok, a rather large crisis, which led to me having a fit that could rival any 2 year olds. Seriously, I was this close to laying in the floor & screaming. K told our clinic early on that if our FET didn't work, we wanted to go straight into a fresh cycle, and they said that would be fine. Fast forward to negative beta, and the RE decides he wants to look at K's ovaries...NEXT cycle. That was kind of a bummer by itself, but because of K's work schedule, she wants to transfer by April 1st, otherwise we'd have to wait until August or September. Cue meltdown.

"What the heck am I doing to do for 6 months?! I will have no purpose! I want to deliver in 2010, or at least by late January! I can't just sit here and do nothing!"

This went on for approximately 24 hours. I was seriously freaking out. And now that I look back, I have no idea why I freaked out! It's only 6 months, it isn't the end of the world. I knew that there would be a gap in transfers if the second one didn't work, but I just wanted us to get that chance at a second one before we just twiddled our thumbs for 6 months. Thankfully, the IVF coordinator got in touch with K and told her that they were going to try their best to make a March transfer happen! Yaaaay!!! You should have seen me when I got K's text, I was fist-pumping like a Jersey Shore pro. Throw in a few ninja kicks & high fives... I'm sure I looked like I was having some kind of seizure.

So, they started me on birth control pills, and K got her blood drawn for some kind of fancy blood test to check her ovaries, and now we are just waiting for those results. Once those are in, we'll get instructions, I assume. I'm not entirely sure what this cycle will consist of, but one thing I know for sure is that both K and I will be sticking needles into our bellies on a daily basis which will be sure to turn us both into hormonal, hot-flash-having, grumpy women. I can almost hear the cries of joy from our husbands right now.

Anywho, hopefully I'll have a better update early next week. Everyone cross your fingers for a successful March transfer!

Negative Beta :(

The title pretty much says it all. Our beta today was negative :( We're bummed, but moving forward. I stop meds today & AF should arrive soon. Then K and I will sync our cycles up so a fresh transfer in March.

I'll have to do the dreaded lupron shots with this cycle- eeeks!

Bad Dream

I had a dream last night that I was in the hospital and had just delivered twins. K & J hadn't been able to make it to the hospital on time, but they were on their way. The nurse handed me the babies and started to leave the room, but I told her that the babies weren't mine, and she had to take them to the nursery until their parents got here, and she laughed and said "no honey, those are your babies, you have to take care of them!" and left the room.

The babies were crying and hungry and then they both pooped at the same time. I pressed the call button and told the nurse that the babies were hungry and she replied "well breastfeed them, mommy!" and I just kept saying "these are not my babies!" I was crying and kept dialing K's number on my cell phone but she wouldn't answer. I tried to get out of the bed, but I had a baby in each arm and I was sore and couldn't maneuver, and kept thinking I was going to drop one.

I woke up drenched in sweat and I had tears streaming down my face. What a terrible nightmare! I still get kind of shaky just thinking about it, haha.

Must. Pee. On. Stick.

I'm 3dp5dt, and I have an incredible urge to POAS. I know it's too early, I know it will be negative, and I know I will get discouraged. But in the back of my mind I keep thinking "what if it's positive..." If it WERE positive, I'd be carrying a litter. I'm going to try my best to wait until tomorrow afternoon.

I'm driving myself crazy, too. My brain is tricking me into thinking everything that happens with my body *might* mean I'm pregnant.

My back has been hurting- I must be pregnant!

My boobs are sore today- I must be pregnant!

I've been craving water all day- I must be pregnant!

I'm so tired I can barely hold my eyes open- I am definitely pregnant!

In the 2ww Now!

The transfer went great yesterday! We got to the RE's office a little early & when they called me back, K & my friend Nina came in with me. K & I held hands and when the embryologist brought the embryos in we all started to cry a little. I had to lay in the office for 30 minutes after the transfer, so J & Little K came in the room and we all hung out until I could get up. When we left, J drove through McDonald's and got some french fries and we all ate some for good luck!

When we got back to the hotel, we ordered dinner from Cheddars. I had a steak, and it was delicious! J, K & Little K came to my hotel room and brought balloons, a Nestle Tollhouse cookie cake with a Longhorn in orange icing on it, haha! They brought presents, too! A Coach wallet, an awesome pink camo down vest, and a Lonestar gift card :) I have the best IP's ever!

I'm feeling good about the transfer, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it worked. I'm going to try my very best to not POAS until Friday afternoon, but we'll see...

Transfer Eve

Our transfer is tomorrow! It's finally here! I'm going to get to bed early tonight so I'll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning (ha!) I'm going to pick up Nina about 10 and then we're heading to the Big D! Lunch at Joe's Crab Shack, shopping at Sam Moon, then we'll meet K & J at the hotel. K, Nina & I will go to the transfer and leave J & Little K at the hotel pool while we go get knocked up :) Then I get to lay in bed all evening and no one will say I'm lazy, haha!

Well, the next time I post I will be with child! Think happy thoughts & wish us luck!

Overwhelmed With Emotion

I can't sleep. It's almost 2:00 am, and my mind is racing. I'm excited about the transfer on Monday, but nervous, too. I hope it works. I hope one of the embryos sticks & everything goes smoothly. I just hope most of all that the transfer either works, or it doesn't. It would be heartbreaking to get that positive pregnancy test, and then miscarry. Even worse to see a heartbeat & then miscarry.

When I think about the actual transfer, I get overwhelmed with emotion. I feel so special that K&J have chosen me to carry their child, and that they're trusting me with this huge, amazing task. I feel honored. I feel important. When I get up every morning, I won't just be doing the same old stuff, I'll be helping to grow a family. I feel like surrogacy is something that I was meant to do, and I'm so thrilled that it's finally happening.

I hope that makes sense. It's hard to put into words what I'm feeling, but that's the best I could do. Let's also not forget that I have an insanely high amount of estrogen running through my body right now, and there is excess emotion behind everything, lol. I should get some sleep before I make myself crazy (crazier).

Green Light!

My bloodwork came back today and we got the green light to transfer on Monday! My estrogen level was 1,744!!! This explains why I cry every time the preview for Dear John comes on TV, and the hellacious nausea I've been having.

I start meds today, so the IVF coordinator went over the instructions with me again on how and when to take each med, and I just took my first prometrium, methylprednisone, and doxycycline. I continue the Vivelle patches, but get to ditch the estradiol- yay! And tonight I will start crinone at bedtime.

Our transfer will be Monday at 4:45pm :)

Yay!

I had a lining check this morning and it was 8.6mm!! Woohoo! I called our IVF coordinator and let her know, and she said that as soon as she got my bloodwork in, she'd call me & let me know what to do. She did say that we will definitely be able to do a Jan. 25 transfer, yay!

Well Crap!

I went in today for my lining check, and my lining was only 5.8mm thick. It needed to be atleast 7mm in order for us to be able to transfer on the 18th. So they're tweaking my meds a little bit (more estrogen, whoopee!) and we're going to check again on the 20th. If my lining if at 7mm or better that day, then I should be able to start meds that day and we will be able to transfer on January 25th- which also happens to be my birthday. So that would be really neat if we could transfer that day!

Fingers crossed that the extra estrogen does something besides make me crazy.

Here We Go!

AF came on Christmas day, so on Monday I called to get an appointment to see the RE, and was able to get in on Tuesday at noon. When I got there, the RE had me come back to his office & we went over my medical & OB history, and he made a cycle calendar for me. Then a nurse took me into a patient room and gave me two ibuprofen & an antibiotic pill and said I was having a hysterosonogram. I was really nervous because I'd heard that they were pretty uncomfortable. I had a mock transfer, which wasn't uncomfortable at all, and then the hysterosonogram- and it wasn't bad at all! The RE showed me my uterus on the screen & said that it looked perfect and that I was good to go, woooo hoooo!!!

He gave me a prescription for estradiol pills which I will take 2x a day, and Vivelle patches, which I will replace every 3 days. I'm also taking one baby aspirin per day. Then on Jan. 12th I'll have an ultrasound & check my E2 and if my levels are good and my lining is over 7mm, then I'll start prometrium & crinone, and we will transfer two frozen embies on Jan. 18th! I can't believe it's finally happening! So far I'm doing OK with the estrogen. I sort of feel like I have PMS, I've noticed that my temper was a little short today (Chris noticed too, ha!) but other than that, it's ok. I haven't turned into Psycho Crazy Lady yet. I say yet because I know it's inevitable, haha.

I did find out that I will need to stay the night in DFW after the transfer- I wasn't expecting to have to stay for bedrest, but no biggie! My friend Nina gets to go with me! Then we can have K come to the hotel room & we can all watch movies and eat popcorn and have some girly time!

The kids and I went to OKC today to meet K, J & little K for lunch at Charleston's. I'd never eaten there before, but I'm definitely going back- that burger was deeeeeelish! We also signed the contract- OMG! *happy dance* We are now 100% official. When we were leaving, K told me to come out to their car because they had something for us. There were two wrapped presents for the boys, and a gift bag for me with a Bass Pro gift card! When we got home the boys unwrapped their presents, and they each got a camo backpack with their names embroidered in hunter orange! They were so excited, and Major even asked if he could sleep with his, haha. I am so touched that they thought of us this Christmas, it means so much to me. I am so grateful to have such amazing IP's. And they're not just IP's to me anymore, they're friends. I'm so glad that we met & that I get to be a part of completing their family.

It's Finally Here!

I began a new cycle on Christmas day. Not just any cycle, but "the" cycle. This is the cycle we've been waiting for, and this is the cycle that hopefully (fingers crossed) results in a baby! I have been waiting for this moment for a very long time, and even though my cycle was a couple of days early, I was very excited! Monday morning I will call the RE's office and pray that they can squeeze me in that afternoon, and I will head that way. I'll have my testing done & then I get to start meds, woohoo! By my calculations, it looks like we should transfer around the 15th. Which reminds me, I have some questions for him regarding the transfer, and I think K did too, so we need to get together & make a list of questions for me to ask him on Monday!

We still do not have the flippin contract signed, but it's really not our fault. We've already agreed to it, it's typed up & printed out, just waiting for signatures. My lawyer is out of her office until the 30th, and K&J's lawyer won't let me sign without speaking to her first. So as soon as I talk to her, I'll sign, send it to K&J, they'll sign and then we will be 100% official!

I really don't like the idea of starting meds without it being signed, but- it's not like we're still negotiating terms or something like that. We just have to wait for my lawyer to give the official 'thumbs-up' that I can sign, which I am sure she will. I have said more than once that a surrogate should never start meds without a contract in place, so I feel like a total hypocrite right now. And I'm not doing injections, so that makes a difference- atleast to me. I'll only be on estradiol, which isn't really a big deal. (I'll have to come back & read this last sentence when I'm having hot flashes & crying over Huggies commercials next week, ha!)

Wednesday I'm meeting K&J in OKC for lunch. That's all the update I have for now, but hopefully Monday night I'll have a really good one!

Contract is almost ready!

I got the contract about a week ago, and went through it page by page. I only had a few things that I wanted to tweak, but everything else looked great. I sent the changes to K&J and they just sent the changes to their lawyer, so we should have a final draft early next week, I'm hoping! I would love to have this thing signed before Christmas, that would be an awesome present.

I'm on day 21 of a 30 day cycle, so I will be having my screening appointment with the RE in about 10 days or so, and then I will start medications!! I am so excited, I can't believe we are already here. This seemed so far away when I matched with K&J back in October, and now it's almost time to transfer! I'm crossing my fingers & toes that the first transfer works, and K&J take home a crying, pooping, beautiful little bundle of joy 9 months later!

Short Update

K & J got the contract yesterday! Yaaaay! They're looking it over & taking the silly stuff out, then after they send it back to their lawyer I'll get a copy. Once my lawyer & I look it over, I'll sign & we'll be ready to go! Woohoo!

I started a new cycle on 11/28, and when I start my next cycle on or about 12/28 I'll see the RE & start meds! Things are just moving right along :-)